Over the past couple of months something has changed, for once I actually feel content and even calm? What?! That doesn’t happen usually. It’s nice, my brain has a habit of causing me to feel a lot worse when I don’t stick to my routine or overthink. For a long, long time my mental health has got in the way of my physical recovery. It’s not something I find easy to talk about properly but essentially a lot of my flare ups have been caused by my bad brain.
Fellow chronically ill friends, I promise there are people exactly like you out there. Feeling completely alone, even once I’d met other ill people, was one of the biggest challenges I’ve experienced during the course of my illness.
Wednesday the 7th of March 2012. The day I became ill with myalgic encephalomyelitis was six years ago today. I remember that day so vividly. I remember gradually feeling worse and worse throughout the day and then just crashing on the sofa, I had a headache and I was absolutely shattered, that feeling has never gone away.
1. Put your wellbeing first, turns out the world doesn’t actually end if you don’t reply to people straight away or if you don’t get something done. Your health is more important.
I have a bad habit of constantly living in the past or dreaming of the future.
This is for my oldest friend, the one that has been there through everything. But I hope it helps other people too. Hope is for everyone.
Very few people know what I mean when I say I suffer with brain fog. It’s one of the worst symptoms I have to deal with on a daily basis and it’s so misunderstood.
Life with chronic illness can be extremely disappointing. I’ve recently had to deal with leaving sixth form and realising that my plans for my education are going to have to change. A lot. Every day I have little things I’m unable to do or cope with, which isn’t easy. Every time I have to lie down before I faint or collapse, every time I can’t leave my bed or look after myself properly, it’s like being hit in the stomach over and over again.
When you suffer from a chronic illness, it affects everything. Your family, friends, education, hobbies and more. Everything. When something takes over your whole life like that it’s difficult to not feel some form of guilt. I know I do.
1. Are you sure? Yes. We’re pretty damn sure there’s something wrong with us, please don’t tell us we should make sure we really are ill before we make any decisions. We know our bodies.